Life is but a dream...

Monday, August 18, 2008

I'd Give Da Business To...

It is time for another round of which celeb couples I might give da business to. Enjoy, heffas.

Cassie and Diddy

I don't care that they're both in denial. For the purpose of this post, they are a couple. With that being said, Diddy, P Diddy (oh wait, that's me :) lol), Midget P, whateva his name is, hell to da no. I don't care if he thinks he can win an Olympic medal in sex, the midget gets no play from me. Cassie, on the other hand... I just have one question: Have you seen Cassie? She is one bad bitch, shut yo mouth, and she has just officially been inducted into my list of celeb girlfriends. Luv you, Cass, with your sexy ass. "I am addicted to you, my addiction."

Eva and Lance

Despite some recent pics of Eva looking like she has the body of a malnourished 10-year-old boy, Eva is still sexy as hell, especially when she eats like she's supposed to. Her boyfriend Lance is just as sexy. This is one sexy ass couple. Eva is also a member of my wifey club. So, in case you haven't figured it out, Eva and her sexy eyes, and Lance with his delicious lookin chocolate skin, can both get the business, and I'll even cook for Eva, put some meat on them bones. I'll have her calling my name after she eats my dressing, greens, mac n cheese, and chicken. Don't believe me? Just ask Mr. D. :-)

Last but not least, we have one of the most over exposed newly wed couples on the planet,

Mimi and Nick

Don't get me wrong. I love me some Mariah Carey. But the bitch has clearly lost ALL of her damn marbles. What the fuck (yes, I said what) is a Nick Cannon? True, Nick is kinda cute. But you have to be more than cute to pull Mariah effin Carey. (At least I thought you did.) Not to mention Nick's dick supposedly has a longer track record than Whitney Houston's arms (low blow, I know, and I don't give a damn). I am definitely not down for fucking a dude whose dick I have to sterilize with acid first. So, Nick, hell to da no, and Mariah maybe, if I could get past the crazy. That is all, heffas.

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