Life is but a dream...

Friday, August 29, 2008

I hate to say it...

Ok, so I don't usually get that political. I may throw in a "Go Obama!" comment every once in a while, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, I usually refer you to someone else's blog. But, McCain announced his pick for VP today, and I HAVE to get this off my chest. He picked the female governor of Alaska who is a soccer mom with a special needs child. Now, raise your hand if you think he picked her to absorb all the bitter female voters still pissed off Obama didn't name Pantsuit a.k.a Hilary as his running mate? (sidenote: omg, you should read what The F$%K it List had to say about matching head to toe a la Hilary Clinton. too damn funny!) As I was saying, I know I'm not the only one with my hand up. On top of that, McCain has been slamming Obama about his lack of experience, then he goes and picks someone with even less experience, and she's even younger than Obama! But, you know what, even though I hate to say it, McCain's crusty ass just made a brilliant political move. All those stupid bitches who refuse to accept Pantsuit's defeat are going to hop on the McCain train right now. Oh, and his VP is pro-life. This election is shaping up to be very interesting. Before Obama threw his hat in the ring, I stated I would like to see Hilary vs Condolezza. That would have been historic. But now, we are either going to have the first black President, or the first female vice president, who could become the first female President if McCain croaks or gets assassinated. I bet Ol' Pantsuit is heated right now.


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Silence Isn't Always Golden

Is it truly possible to ignore your partner when you live together? I know this couple who claimed they didn't talk to each other for a full two weeks. How can you possibly sleep in the same bed as someone and not speak to each other for two weeks? When I'm mad at Mr. D, we can barely make it through one day.

But, I think a more important question is Does it really help your relationship any to go about your life like your partner is not there? The short answer is no. Two people in a relationship should talk things out when there are problems. Everyone needs their space now and again. Retreating to separate corners for an hour or two can help. But in order to maintain a healthy relationship, a couple should strive never to go to bed angry. Talk things out when you both have a cool head. Respect the fact that both of you have a right to speak and be heard. The key to a good relationship is healthy communication. This has been a public service announcement by Miss P.

Miss P's IPod Rotation

Following the theme of the day, I have decided to post Miss P's down in the dumps IPod rotation. Most of the songs on this rotation serve a dual purpose. Some explain exactly how I feel, while at the same time give me strength to do something about it.

I Refuse by Aaliyah (I absolutely LOVE this song! I feel so empowered after I hear it. sorry it's just a snippet)

Emotion by Destiny's Child (this has gotten me through some rough times)

Me by Tamia (LOVE IT so much, it helped me name my blog)

Love by Keyshia Cole (one of those bittersweet love songs)

and last but not least

Kim by Eminem (I LOVE this white boy. and this is one of my FAV pissed at the world songs. i turn this up in the car full blast when I wanna scream, but I can't, or better yet, won't)

I hope you heffas have a better day than me. Enjoy.

This little girl still makes me laugh. Hey, I smiled! My day is starting to look up.

Poetry Corner

Something about today is a little off, and I'm feeling down. So, I decided to post one of my favorite poems that I wrote that kind of goes along with my mood. It's dedicated to every woman I know.


When I look in your eyes
and know that you are mine
there's no better feeling in the world.
But all that changed
the day I found out you cheated.
I can smell her on you,
see her caressing you.
It burns me to know
you took her places in your soul
where only we used to go.
Your kiss that used to be so sweet
is now so sour.
Your smile that lit my world
now leaves me bitter and cold.
The man I thought was only for me
has now made this twosome three
and I no longer know where I'm supposed to be.
Should I stay… or let it go?
Everyone seems to think they know what I should do.
But no one knows what's best for me but me.
Can't you see?
But now, now my world has come crashing in.
The home we made is now a prison
the walls are closing in
I can't breathe
I don't remember how to be me...
without you.
What do I do
when I look at you and only see her?
You, you were my rock, my king
but now it seems
our love is no more.
Do I forgive and forget…
or just walk out the door?

My best work always seemed to be my depressing poems...

What In The Hell?

This is why parents need to spank their damn kids.

A 12-year-old boy took his grandmother's car and led police on a chase at speeds
up to 60 mph before swerving to avoid spikes in the road and crashing into a
fence, police said.


Do ya'll remember the 7-year-old in Florida who stole his grandmother's SUV and went joy-riding and thought that shyt was funny? I don't know what's wrong with parents now-a-days. Mr. D and I were watching Super Nanny the other day and this father was like, "Well, you can't spank your kids anymore or you'll get arrested, so what do you do?" You beat their asses, that's what you do! If I push a baby out of my cooch, I officially have the right to knock the taste out of my kid's mouth, I don't give a damn what anybody says. There was this one Italian family on Super Nanny, and the father took his 5 kids bowling. His son, he was 6, I think, throws a fit and starts screaming at his dad, "I'm gonna kill you!" about 3 times! The dad just held him, and then they all went home. And then the little bastard was playing his PlayStation! Aw hell no! Mr. Mob Boss, are you fucking for real? Get da fuck oudda here! I remember this one time, in band camp... just kidding. For real, one time, I was 4 and my brother was 2 and we were on the L with my mama and we had just come from shopping. Well, my little brother wanted his toy, but she said no. So he decided to take a cue from da white boy he saw acting a fool earlier and threw his ass down on the train and started kicking and screaming. My mother, very calmly, commenced to beating his ass right there on the train, downtown Chicago. Nobody said a damn thing. Why should they? She was doing what she was supposed to. And my brother never pulled some shyt like that again. I wish my brother would have told my mother he was going to kill her, let alone in public, let alone on national television! Super Nanny would have had to call 911 cuz my brother would have been DEAD. Then again, aint no way in hell we would be on Super Nanny anyway, cuz my mama didn't play that bullshyt.

My point? Parents, please start spanking your kids again. The only reason your kids act like Chucky, Freddy Krueger, and Jason, as Madea would say, is because YOU WON"T DISCIPLINE THEM. Now, I know the late Bernie Mac never got a chance to open that day care center, but if you need to, send them to my house, and me and Mr. D will gladly beat the hell out of your kids, free of charge. This has been a public service announcement by Miss P.

By the way, how many of you think when the cameras go out and the parents aren't looking, Super Nanny beats the hell out of those kids? I do, cuz I would. How else does she tame those extra bad kids in 1 week? Oh, and did ya'll see the one where the 10, 6, and 4 year old slept with mom, so mom and dad hadn't slept in the same bed in 8 years? How in the hell do they have a 6 and 4 year old then? I'm too through.

Our Justice System Needs Serious Fixing

Normally, I don't like reporting on things so gruesome, but I remember when they found this girl. Joseph Edward Duncan III was sentenced to death yesterday for kidnapping, torturing, and murdering 9-year-old Dylan Groene in 2005. Although I remain split on capital punishment, I support this ruling because not only did he kidnap and repeatedly rape and torture the boy before shooting him in the head, and then suffocating him, he also kidnapped and tortured his sister, AND murdered his older brother, mother, and mother's boyfriend. The punishment should fit the crime, so I believe he should be gang rapped before he is hung. Yeah, I said hung. Lethal injection is too good for him. Why do I say that? This man was out on parole when he committed these horrific crimes. He had previously been convicted of raping a boy at gunpoint in 1980, and has admitted to 3 other murders in the '90's. What went wrong? Why was this violent and disturbed man set free, free to destroy the Groene family? Something is horribly wrong with our justice system. We need to fix this, quick. I know it's a lot to put on Obama's shoulders, but hopefully with him becoming President, he can get the ball rolling in the right direction. Anyway, say a prayer today for Dylan and Shasta Groene, their mother, brother, and a man who almost became their step-father, as well as the rest of their family.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

What In The Hell?

Please, please, PLEASE let this store be false! I don't know who the fuck this dude is, I don't follow football, but he's a wide receiver for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Dennis Northcutt has been accused of getting his cousin to beat his girlfriend's ass when she was 4 months pregnant. His sport agent is saying it's just a shakedown. I hope to God it is. I can't stand trifling men who hit women, and to make it even worse, she was PREGNANT, and he knew it! If he did it, this bastard deserves to get his legs broken, for real for real.


Future First Lady Michelle Obama at the DNC

Although I am feeling better (barely), my brain has yet to catch up. So, instead of posting the video myself, Ima send ya'll over to my girl F.U. to catch the video of Michelle Obama at the Democratic National Convention. After watching this speech, I almost feel bad for clowning Dirty KK about not being able to attend. I said almost, heffas. Dirty KK needs to stay his ass at home. But I digress. This is about Michelle and how absolutely fabolous she is going to be as our First Lady. Such class, such grace, such love and adoration for her husband. Omg, did you see her get all choked up talking about her husband driving her and her new baby home for the first time? I mean really, even if you are still blind and still can't see Obama for the leader he is, look at his wife. This woman is... just... WOW. I have no more words except OBAMA IN '08! YES WE CAN!

Oh, and that part at the end when his girls are all like "Hi Daddy!" And Michelle is like "Love you!" Too beautiful. The future first family is just too... WOW.

Hump Day!!!

Miss P has been sick for the past couple of days, so I haven't been posting. But, today is hump day, so here is Eddie Murphy on humping. Enjoy, heffas!

Friday, August 22, 2008

New Award!

I don't know if this is more of a what in the hell? moment or a dumbass award moment, so I will combine the two. The first ever What In The Hell, You Dumbass award goes to Rubel Sheikh who was eaten by a crocodile he was trying to get a blessing from. Now, I'm not trying to walk all over other people's customs, but don't people in Bangladesh know wild crocodiles eat people??? I mean, really, if your ass is performing a ritual that involves bathing in a pond full of crocodiles, isn't it really the croc who's getting a blessing of a bunch of dumbasses for lunch?


Sho Nuff Aint The Master No More

It's the only clip I could find.

I know I'm late with this one, but I'm just now figuring out who this dude is. Julius J. Carry III died Aug 19 of pancreatic cancer. He was probably best known as Sho Nuff in the movie The Last Dragon. Man, me and my mama loved that damn movie. "Am I the baddest?" "Sho Nuff!" People are dropping like flies. RIP, Sho Nuff.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Ricky's Got Some Babies

What is up with all these seemingly gay men having babies through surrogate mothers? First Clay Aiken, now Ricky Martin? Yeah, you heard me, Ricky Martin just became the single mother of twin boys. Don't ask me why I think he's gay. You know you do too. And I love it. I just can't stand people who deny their sexuality because they're afraid of what the public will think. Be you, boo boo. I wish we had more openly gay celebrities. Maybe if we did, us "common folk" wouldn't be so afraid of accepting one another. But I digress. Congrats Ricky. But seriously, all those women out there who would have loved to fuck you, and you had to pay for the pussy. SMDH.


And the Dumbass Award Goes To...

Ok, what in the fuck? In Wisconsin, a 37-year-old woman celebrated her birthday by taking her 17-year-old son to rob two gas stations. AND her 13-month-old daughter and two boys, 10 and 14, rode along. I told ya'll we going to hell in a handbasket. Who in da fuck drinks a few beers, blows out their candles, then says "Erbody get in da car. We going for a ride. Ok, now you get yo ass in there and get all da dough. And don't forget my muthafuckin chips!" Yeah, bytch, you's a dumbass.


This Muthafucka Is Just Unstable

Ok, so did ya'll hear about that white boy who threatened to assassinate Obama if he got into office? Turns out he also said he wanted to put a bullet in ol George Dubbya. Wait, now I'm confused. Why in the hell would a man who doesn't like Bush wanna kill our future? This man is obviously unstable than a muthafucka. Now I am not saying people should go out there killing anyone, I'm just saying I don't understand how he can be that angry at Dubbya and not see Obama as the future. Anyway, I got nothing left to say on this, so check out the source link for more info.


Is This Bitch For Real?

It never ceases to amaze me how in this day and age we still have entire communities living in ignorance and intolerance. In a small town in Florida, a high school girl goes to her principal because other students are harassing her because she's gay. Now, as the highest authority figure in her school, he's supposed to console her and assure her she can come to school and learn without being taunted because of her sexual preference and then deal with those kids, right? Not this self-righteous bastard. No, this muthafucka tells her homosexuality is wrong, outs her to her parents, and orders her to stay away from kids. Is this bitch for real?

Now, this shyt is wrong on so many levels. First of all, you're a muthafuckin principal, nobody asked you for your personal views on her sexual orientation. Secondly, who the fuck are you to tell her parents?! Coming out to anyone, especially your parents, is hard and can be traumatic, especially for a teen. Where the fuck do you get off robbing this girl of her right to do it in her own time??? And then you order her to stay away from kids like she's some fuckin pedophile. This man's line of thinking is just all wrong.

Then, when her friends protested, he questioned students about their sexual preference, suspended some, and even lifted some girls' shirts to see if they had "gay pride" written on their bodies! But get this: most of the community saw nothing wrong with anything he had done! What kind of tomfoolery is this??! Now, it's not one fucked up man among the masses; no, his town is supporting him! These close minded bastards really irk the hell outta me. They gave some bullshyt saying we're a small Christian town, this isn't Chicago or Atlanta. What in the fuck is that supposed to mean? But you know what? They're right. They're not in Chicago, cuz if they were, that muthafucka would have had his ass BEAT DOWN for lifting some girl's shirt. I wish you would lift my daughter's shirt. Let's see if you go home with all your fingers.

I propose we start a campaign to enlighten these ignorant sons of bitches. We can not keep living in a world of intolerance. Since the town still can't figure out what the ex-principal did wrong, even after he was successfully sued, I am going to write some letters and let them know. And I'm going to end it in big bold letters with GAY PRIDE! GAY PRIDE!

I am too through.


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Don't You Just Love It?

It's stories like this that give me hope that we aren't all going to hell in a handbasket. Ok, so remember when Heath Ledger died and they found out he hadn't updated his will to include his daughter? And his family was acting like idiots and didn't put the money in a trust for her? Heath was also in the process of filming another film, and three actors; Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, and Jude Law stepped in to replace him. The three of them have decided to donate their salary to Matilda.

As most of you probably know, Heath was filming Terry Gilliam's "The Imaginarium
of Dr. Parnassus" at the time of his death. Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell stepped in to complete Heath's role, playing different versions of his character "Tim."
When the three actors learned that Ledger's will had not been updated to include
his daughter, the generous trio decided to donate all the money they earned from
the film to little Matilda!


That is absolutely freaking amazing! And didn't I tell ya'll yesterday how amazing Johnny Depp is? I freaking love him! Thank you Johnny, Jude, and Colin for making my day.

Show Your Love

Ok, I know I just started my blog about a week or two ago. I really would like to know if anyone is reading. What do you think of my blog? Love it or hate it? Am I blogging to myself? Hello? (echo, echo) If you are reading, please comment on this post to show me some love. Please? Don't make me get all puppy dog eyes on you.

Too late.

What In The Hell?

What kind of bullshyt is this? In Israel, a woman had her pregnancy aborted by her doctors due to internal bleeding. The baby was pronounced stillborn and placed in one of the hospital's refrigerated storage units. 6 hours later, as the family is taking the body to be buried, the baby moves and grabs the grandmother's finger. The family is ecstatic, of course, and they're calling it a miracle. Am I the only one who is pissed off? You told me my baby was dead, put her in a freezer, and suddenly she's alive? Aw hell to da no. Somebody fucked up. Yes, I am grateful my baby is alive, but 6 fucking hours in a fridge? Maybe it's just me, but I would have torn that hospital apart.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Comedy Corner

How many of you knew Jamie Foxx had a show on Sirius satellite radio called Foxxhole Radio? Well, if you didn't know, now you know. After all the funeral posting today, I was kind of down, so I needed a pick-me-up. Here is the link to one of Jamie's old shows, around the time of the Chris Stokes allegations. This shyt had me rolling on the ground. Enjoy, heffas.

Are bi-racial children more attractive?

So, I was over at Blogxilla and I noticed him talking about this article he found. Apparently biracial kids are more attractive. Really? I know a few men and women who absolutely worship the ground chocolate skinned men and women walk on. Mr. D just happens to be one of them. I personally love the hell out of light skinned brothers and sisters. As a matter of fact, the members of my wifey club that I have introduced you to so far have been light skinned. Hmmmm, I'm gonna have to do another I'd Give Da Business To post this week. But I digress. I also have strong appreciation for ebony gods and goddesses. There are also some white people that are sexy as hell. So, here are just a few of my favorites for your viewing pleasure.

Morris Chestnut

This man is too fucking sexy. No more words are needed.

Orlando Bloom

I love, love, LOVE me some Orli! Those ears in Lord of the Rings, god, but I'll cover that in a later post.

Johnny Deep
Johnny muthafuckin Depp. Not only is this man fuckin gorgeous, he is one of the most humble actors out there. AND he beat down the paps for getting too close to his kids. A real family man. That is so HOT!

Terrell Carter

Not only is he completely edible, brother can SANG! I know wtf I typed. OMG, I don't care if Tyler Perry wants to "donk him in the booty", as F.U. once said, thank you, Tyler, for casting him!!!

For now, I rest my case. I gotta go change my draws; I can't be getting all hot and bothered like this at work! Later, heffas.

Check Them Out

Check out some of my favorite blogs for some good stuff I missed.

F.U. has the latest Olympics update... Yeah, I Said It. And What?

LisaRaye will pray for him... Rhymes With Snitch

Michael Jackson gives his broke ass brothers the cold shoulder... Bossip

Be Your Man's Personal Whore... Blogxilla

Christine Beatty finally opens her eyes... Glennisha Morgan

I hope you can get the video link to work on this one, cuz I can't
Some Parents Deserve to Get their Asses Beat DOWN! ... Yeah, I Said It. And What?

Bernie Mac memorial video

**UPDATE** Here is the link to Bernie Mac's obituary. I got it from Rhymes with Snitch. This is gonna have me bawlin at work, cuz all I can think of is my mama.

Here is the link to the memorial video for Bernie Mac. His service was Saturday, Aug 16 in Chicago. I wish I could have went home for it, but to be honest, I'm burnt out on funerals right now. In fact, I don't even want to watch it, so maybe you can watch it for me and tell me how it was? I also found an article detailing his last moments with his wife and statements some of his friends have made. RIP Bernie. You were loved dearly. There are some nice pictures of his friends showing up for the funeral, but after my post on Sunday, I'm sure you'll understand why I'm done with this topic for now.

Larry Fishburne is joining CSI!

I freaking love CSI. I would watch it errdae (that's everyday, heffas) if I could. I love mysteries, I love to put the pieces together without having to have all those years of schooling. Hehehe. Anyway, Laurence Fishburne a.k.a Larry will be joing CSI next season to replace Gil Grissom, played by William Petterson. *Sniffle* I love me some Grissom, but I think Larry will be a good replacement. I can see him playing the hell out of his new role, just like he did with Ike in What's Love Got To Do With It? (eat the goddamn cake, Anna Mae!) and Morpheus in the Matrix.

If you read the article, you'll see they felt the need to point out Larry played a cowboy on Pee Wee's playhouse. Hahahahaha. I remember about two years ago Adult Swim on Cartoon Network started playing Pee Wee's playhouse. So I'm sitting there watching it, feeling like a kid again, screaming when they said the secret word, lol, and who comes through the door dressed as a cowboy with a jheri curl mullet? Laurence Fishburne, only in the credits he's "Larry". OMG, I was on the ground DYING. I had completely forgotten he was Cowboy Curtis! Hahahahahahah! Anyway, I can't wait to see Larry on CSI. I'm also glad they chose a black actor. Whoo hoo!

Schools cut buses out of their budgets

Have you guys heard this? Now, we all know the state of our economy, including rising gas prices. In order to keep from breaking their budgets, schools across the country are eliminating school buses, forcing students to walk or find other means of transportation. Plenty of kids already cut school because they just can't afford to go. Now, being forced to find their own means of transportation, attendance is going to plummet. In city's with public transportation, fare cost has increased in response to rising gas prices. Some families can't afford to put their kids on the bus or train. Some parents can't afford to take their kids to school. I think it's really sad that one of the first things affected when the government tries to keep the budget under control are the kids. There are things that can be done to avoid this, to help keep the babies in school, not give them another reason not to go. And there are small organizations popping up in cities nationwide to help, like WalkBoston. They are trying to get school officials to look deeper into this before they cut out buses. No buses means no rides to and from school, no field trips, no nothing. Do we really want the kids to lose their field trips? I remember going to the Field Museum as a kid. I loved it. We also went to the zoo, the holography museum, and a bunch of other places. Not only were they educational, they provided a nice break from the boring school curriculum sometimes. I wouldn't have been able to make it to the Homecoming Game without the school bus. Go Whitney Young Dolphins! Please, people, stand up and let your voice be heard. Let the schools know this is a mistake. Find your local organization that is trying to fight this, like WalkBoston. Do it for the babies. This has been a public service announcement by Miss P.


Dirty KK can't be ousted...

On Monday one of KK's judges ruled the Detroit City Council doesn't have the power to force him out of office. You know he was happy than a mofo. I mean, look at this pic.
Doesn't it just scream, "I'm pretending I'm listening to you, but I can't WAIT to beat the dust off some stripper pussy tonight! Party at the mayor's mansion! Whoo whoo!"

Anyway, Dirty KK shouldn't celebrate too soon. The Governor has scheduled a misconduct hearing for Sept 3. Ol' KK might get ousted after all. Hmmm, maybe he should get some stripper puss while he can...


Monday, August 18, 2008

Ice T and his wife are attention whores

Ok, I found this at Necole Bitchie. I normally ignore Ice T and his slut of a wife, cuz he's just not relevant, but I couldn't ignore this. How in the hell did a rapper who was so fuckin gangster turn into this?

I mean, I've seen pics of Coco before the implants (look them up yourself, I don't feel like it), but that shyt she has in her chest now is just fucking nauseating. Ugh. I have no more commentary, so if you wanna see some more, check out Necole Bitchie.

I'd Give Da Business To...

It is time for another round of which celeb couples I might give da business to. Enjoy, heffas.

Cassie and Diddy

I don't care that they're both in denial. For the purpose of this post, they are a couple. With that being said, Diddy, P Diddy (oh wait, that's me :) lol), Midget P, whateva his name is, hell to da no. I don't care if he thinks he can win an Olympic medal in sex, the midget gets no play from me. Cassie, on the other hand... I just have one question: Have you seen Cassie? She is one bad bitch, shut yo mouth, and she has just officially been inducted into my list of celeb girlfriends. Luv you, Cass, with your sexy ass. "I am addicted to you, my addiction."

Eva and Lance

Despite some recent pics of Eva looking like she has the body of a malnourished 10-year-old boy, Eva is still sexy as hell, especially when she eats like she's supposed to. Her boyfriend Lance is just as sexy. This is one sexy ass couple. Eva is also a member of my wifey club. So, in case you haven't figured it out, Eva and her sexy eyes, and Lance with his delicious lookin chocolate skin, can both get the business, and I'll even cook for Eva, put some meat on them bones. I'll have her calling my name after she eats my dressing, greens, mac n cheese, and chicken. Don't believe me? Just ask Mr. D. :-)

Last but not least, we have one of the most over exposed newly wed couples on the planet,

Mimi and Nick

Don't get me wrong. I love me some Mariah Carey. But the bitch has clearly lost ALL of her damn marbles. What the fuck (yes, I said what) is a Nick Cannon? True, Nick is kinda cute. But you have to be more than cute to pull Mariah effin Carey. (At least I thought you did.) Not to mention Nick's dick supposedly has a longer track record than Whitney Houston's arms (low blow, I know, and I don't give a damn). I am definitely not down for fucking a dude whose dick I have to sterilize with acid first. So, Nick, hell to da no, and Mariah maybe, if I could get past the crazy. That is all, heffas.

Rihanna looks good enough to eat...

I wanted to post this pic last week, but I couldn't, so here is my wifey in a bikini in Barbados with Chris Brown. She is just so damn sexy, there are no words.

Wedding Ring Alert!

Ok, I know I'm a little late on this, but blogger was acting funny with me last week, soooo.....

Wedding ring alert! Here's Joe Camel wearing his wedding band in the same picture!

Hmmm, wonder if Beyonce read my last post on her letting him run around without a ring like he's not married? Anyway, good look Camel. Keep it up.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Bye Bye

I just found this video and it really describes how I feel today.

To My Mama

It's been 1 month exactly since you left and I still don't think it's fair. There are some things I'll never get to say to you, and I've decided to use this as a medium to help me let go. Did you know I've been wearing blue for a month? Even before all this happened, somewhere along the line (back in high school, I think), your favorite color became one of my favorite colors, and it was the best way I could think of to pay tribute to you. 41, ma. I only got 25 years with you. Whose supposed to go shopping with me for my wedding dress now? The only thing that helps me get by day to day, no, second by second, is to focus on the fact that you're not in pain anymore. But is it really that selfish to think of the time we've lost together? There is so much left that I wanted, needed to do with my mommy. But you did a good job with me; I can take care of myself and D has been keeping his promise to you about taking care of me. But see, he's grieving too. So I have to be strong for him and me. I'm not sure if I ever told you this, but despite all of our differences, you were a great mom to me, and in my eyes you will always be an African queen. I love you ma, and I miss you so much. There hasn't been one day yet where I didn't want to call you and then just as quickly realize I couldn't. I just want to crawl into a corner and cry, but I have to be strong for everyone else. Now all I have left of you are my memories. I am so mad, mad at you for leaving, mad at me for not being able to fix you, mad at me for being mad at you. But at least you're at peace. I hope everything you believed in was true for you. I love you ma. Goodbye.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Poetry Corner

Ok, since I can't seem to edit my posts the way I want to, I will just leave ya'll a poem to get you in the mood for a good wipe me down session this weekend. I wrote this myself, so don't go stealing my work, heffas.


Sitting here with you
is my favorite thing to do
The sound of your voice
leaves me no choice
as I sit here
by the look in your eyes
as your hands caress my thighs
The look in your eyes
as your lips touch mine
and slowly I sigh
'to you I would never lie'
The feel of you lips on my cheek
robs me of my ability to speak
As you run your fingers through my hair
and into your eyes I stare
my soul for you I lay bare
When you nibble on my ears
I want to cry sweet tears
of joy
as you toy
with my emotions
your tongue making motions
on my neck
I have to stop and check
to see if I'm still breating cuz
your love leaves me in a buzz
a whirlwind, a daze
I'm so amazed
that this
is only part 1
the prelude
of so much more to cum

Have a nice weekend, heffas.

Noose Hanger Gets Four Months

Ok, so remember the protest march in Jenna, LA Sept 20, 2007. Remember the white kid who hung 3 nooses on the back of his truck and drove past? He got four months in prison.

Federal prosecutors say 19-year-old Jeremiah Munsen displayed the nooses when he drove past people who had attended a massive civil rights march in Jena on Sept. 20.
Munsen had faced up to a year in prison after pleading guilty in April to a misdemeanor charge of interfering with the marchers' federally protected right to travel.
The marchers were waiting in Alexandria for a bus home to Tennessee. They had been protesting the criminal cases against six black teenagers charged with beating a white student at Jena High School in 2006.



Finally, they do something right.

Dirty KK thought he was going somehwere

So yesterday, KK goes in front of one judge for his perjury charges. This judge then rules his ankle bracelet can come off and he can attend the Democratic National Convention. Time to call the strippers, right? Not so fast, you dirty dog. Less than 4 hours later, the judge overseeing his assault case had the tether put back on. Awww, sucks to be you, huh KK? Black politicains like this make it hard for people to take good, honest politicians like Barack seriously. But that's ok, cuz come November, Barack is going to show them how classy a real black politician can be. Yes we can!


Thursday, August 14, 2008

So She Got To Lick The Rapper...

Hahaha. Ok, so yesterday I was listening to Big Tigger on 93.9 WKYS in the DMV, and it was hater day. People call in and put their haters on blast. Soooo, this one dude calls in and says his girl is a hater cuz she mad cuz he won't take her back cuz she got down with Lil Wayne after one of his release parties. Hahahaha. Hahahahahahahaha. Omg, that is too freaking funny. I just have one question: what do women SEE in this little troll? Now, I will admit he does make pretty babies. But the man himself is a goblin, like he says in his damn song. He has so many tattoos you can barely see his skin. He kisses his damn daddy. And of course since he's a rapper whose been with groupie sluts, his dick probably has to be sterilized by acid before you can actually lick the rapper. I fail to see the point. I wouldn't take her back, either.

LisaRaye done brought the Chi-town out of her ass!

So, ya'll heard Lisa Raye's hubby was laid up with Rosci last weekend, right? Then Lisa Raye went home to "work things out". The next day, her husband released a statement stating they separated. Well, they got into a fight last night.

The Premier of the Turks and Caicos Islands (TCI) Michael
Misick, and his estranged wife LisaRaye McCoy-Misick were involved in a violent confrontation at the Premier’s mansion on Wednesday night, according to reliable sources. The fight, which reportedly occurred in the presence of a number of government officials, including the Minister for Health and Education, Lillian Been-Boyce, resulted in both Misicks seeking emergency medical attention for bites. Each has filed a police report against the other. On Tuesday, Michael Misick had released a brief press statement, saying, “I am announcing that am separated from LisaRaye McCoy-Misick.”

LisaRaye had returned to the TCI this week, reportedly to
negotiate a divorce settlement but, according to our sources, this process had gone very badly from her standpoint. Misick is said to have refused to allow his wife to stay at the Premier’s mansion and she is believed to be staying at a local beach resort.


That's right! Let that cheating bitch know us Chi-town bitches don't play that! As soon as you get out of the hospital, me, you, and Da Brat can go ride on Rocsi. Chi-town bitches stick together!

Comedy Corner

Here is the second half of Bernie's King of Comedy performance, including his breakdown of muthafucka. Bernie was so fuckin funny. I hope you muthafuckin heffas enjoy this. And I'm out this muthafucka!

America's Next Top Transgender Model

Cycle 11 of America's Next Top Model is set to air Sept 3 with its first transgender model. Isis says she is "a woman born physically male." Ummmm, I have no real opinion about this. Scratch that, I always have an opinion. I think its cool. If Isis considers herself a woman, we should, too. I just wanna know- is Isis still physically a man? If so, how is she gonna hide the ding-a-ling? Seriously, doesn't every cycle have a bathing suit shoot? How is she going to hide the pipe? And is she going to room with the other girls? I mean, I applaud Tyra for making moves, but I kinda think this is just a ploy to get ratings.


Britney Cleans Up Her Act

Britney Spears and her boys look really good on the cover of OK! magazine. Recent reports say the singer has really cleaned up her act. The custody battle between her and K-Fed has been settled, and while Kevin has physical custody of the kids, Brit has been granted overnight visits. K-Fed has even been quoted as saying he wants to eventually have joint custody with the mother of his kids. Things seem to be looking up for Britney. Too bad I can't say the same for lil sis Jamie Lynn.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Check Them Out

Are Black Women Really Getting Fat? ... Blogxilla

Hairspray's Daddy Still Confined to Island ... Rhymes With Snitch

LisaRaye Gets Dumped ... Bossip

Clay Aiken Actually Found a Woman Willing to Birth His Seed ... Celebslam

Razor Teeth Just Won't Cut It in China ... Yeah, I Said It. And What?

Hump Day!!!

Today is hump day, and so I'm giving you a little humor to help get you through the day. Here's vintage Richard Pryor on humping. Get it? Humping on hump day? You're welcome, heffas.

Wedding Ring Alert!

Here's another pic of Bey wearing her wedding ring while out and about. That's two sightings and they've been married since April. Guess she got tired of hiding her marriage to a Camel. It's ok, Bey a lot of people love their pets enough to marry them. I'm just not one of them.

J Hud

J Hud looks absolutely stunning in these new pics. I love her to death. She is representing for thick chicks and Chi-town. And this time, she did it looking like herself, not airbrushed into looking like a Brandy wannabe. I guess sexy ass Punk gave her back her confidence. You better work it J Hud!

New York got a booty ya'll!

New York, before greens and cornbread did her body good

Ok, I don't know where the hell I've been, but when the hell did skankalicious New York get a booty?! She's put on some weight, and it looks good on her. Helps to distract from the monstrosity sitting on her chest that she likes to call her titties. I guess Tailor Made was putting it on her and feeding her some good shyt. Good food followed by extended wipe me down sessions will do that to you. Ask me how I know. Even her weave aint as bad on this show; well, the 5 minutes I saw. Anyway, enjoy the clip. Later, heffas.

And the Dumbass Award Goes To...

Hahahahahahaha. Ok, I can't find a real news source for this story, but did ya'll hear about the Chinese man who told his wife the address of his mistress in his sleep? Hahahahahahaha. Now, I've heard of people telling their secrets in their sleep (hell, that's how my mother found out my crushes in grammar school, lol), but this man gave her a COMPLETE ADDRESS. That's what his dumb ass gets. And then she found him there a couple of days later. Yeah, you're a dumbass.


Is This Bitch For Real?

Ok, is this bitch for real? Is he really taking a bath, correction, a bubble bath, in the sink at Burger King??? "Mr. Unstable" is a fucking understatement. Besides, who really blows out their candles and wishes for a bubble bath at Burger King? I'm too though. I got nothing left to say.


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Kanye West's video

Ok, I really don't like Kanye West, even though I can truthfully admit he has some catchy shyt. Anyway, I saw his new video and had to share. Click the link to check it out then tell me what you think of it.


Rihanna is gorgeous

Here is a picture of my wifey being just so damn beautiful. You know you wanna give her da business but you can't, cuz she's all mine. C Breezy is just a cover to keep all the paparazzi off me. Enjoy, heffas.

Dirty KK got lucky this time

So, after spending the night in jail, KK decides to go and spend some time with his family. Only problem is he's been ordered to have no contact with any witnesses involved in his case. Seeing as his sister is a witness, prosecutors hauled his ass back to court to get his ass again. The judge musta gotten scared, cuz he let Dirty KK go. I can't wait to see this made into a Law and Order episode. Maybe I should write the script for it.... Don't steal my ideas, heffas!


Lord Help Us

In Baltimore 2 year old Javon Thompson was starved to death by a cult, which included his mother, because he wouldn't say amen after meals. What in the hell? They then proceeded to try and raise him from the dead after refusing to call for help when he stopped breathing in his mother's arms. People like this make me sick. This little boy did not have to die. The mother's family is claiming the mother had no choice but to follow orders. No choice? Bitch, you pushed that little boy out of your cooch. How in the hell are you going to follow an order not to feed your baby because he won't say amen? Lord, please help us.


Monday, August 11, 2008

Miss P's IPod Rotation

I was going to save this post for Friday, but since we've lost two legends in the same weekend, I am going to hit you with Miss P's Old School playlist today. These young 'uns now-a-days don't know a damn thing about good music. I always turn on this list when Soulja Boy and other bullshit like that starts to get on my nerves, and losing Bernie and Isaac made me wanna hear some classics.

Turn Off the Lights by Teddy Pendergrass (turn em off!)

Keep Your Head Up by Chaka Khan (don't know if the song should be here, but Chaka is a legend and this song moves me in so many ways)

Love and Happiness by Al Green (i just love this song)

I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston (she had/has such an amazing voice. listen to this and tell me you don't get choked up. crack is wack!)

and last but definitely not least, my all time favorite old school love song:

Cuz I Love You by Lenny Williams (this man cried the whole damn song. men just don't tell women they love them like this no more!)
Just a taste of some of my old school favorites. You're welcome, heffas.