Monday, September 29, 2008
First of all, 100% beef? What are you, a damn cow? How did you come up with the concept for that tat. Why in the hell do you have on spandex pants in the club? You didn't have anything better to wear? And your hood rat friends. Why in the hell do they have their faces on your ass like that?! I'm too through with this whole situation. I seriously have to stop going to You Know You Dead Azz Wrong! She's gonna get me fired, for real for real.
Lord, please save us. Some of us need more help than others.
*Sidenote: I think I might start watching Survivor. I suddenly have an irresistible urge to watch, lol.
Friday, September 26, 2008
As you can tell from the title, this episode does a lot of talking about whether or not God (and angels) exist.
Now, I am not going to go into a full on scene by scene breakdown. For one thing, it's an hour long. On top of that, I told ya'll I'm not liking this 9 o'clock time slot. I was tired and cranky, so I don't exactly remember everything.
Barack Obama has come out and said the American people need to know what their future President is going to do about this situation, and postponing the debate is not in the best interest of the American people. I completely agree. Not only that, the date McCain proposed to have the debate is the same day of the vice presidential debate. So, it seems like the Republican party is trying to shield Sarah Palin once again. McCain realized Obama's numbers were up and decided doing this debate was not in his best interest. The Republican party is trying to pull the okey doke on the American people. People, we can not have this man in office. Spread the word, make sure all your friends are registered to vote. The deadlines are approaching quickly. Do your part to get Obama in office.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Ok, so this guy goes to the doctor to have a circumcision. When he wakes up, HIS ENTIRE PENIS IS GONE! The doctor found cancer and amputated the whole thing. So Mr. Philip Seaton is suing him because he "has suffered mental anguish, pain, and has lost the enjoyment of life." Uh, you think?
I am dying to know his exact train of thought. As he's coming out of the anesthesia, is he thinking, 'It's so cold in here my sausage has shriveled right up. Wait a minute. It's not that damn cold! Where the hell is my dick!' Did the doctor take just the dick and leave the balls? I mean, what in the hell? I knew men could get testicular cancer, but I've never heard of cancer of the penis. I feel sorry for the dude, but I just can't stop laughing! Maybe it's cuz I'm a woman, and can't comprehend the loss of a penis. If I was his wife, though, I'd be mad as hell!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Please, please, please advise everyone you know
that they absolutely can NOT go to the polls wearing any Obama (or whoever you
are voting for) shirts, pins, hats, etc. It is AGAINST THE LAW and will be
grounds to have the polling officials to turn you away. This is considered
campaigning and no one can campaign within X amount of feet of the polls. They
are counting on us being overly excited and not being aware of this long
standing law that you can bet will be ENFORCED THIS YEAR!!!!!
They are banking that if you are turned away, you will not go home and
change your clothes and return to the polls to vote. Please just don't wear ANY
gear of any sorts to the polls! Please share this information with as many
people as you can. If you are already aware of this, please don't take it as
insulting your intelligence.
Have a great day and see you at the polls on
You better believe they are going to pull out all the stops to keep Obama out of office. Pass this info along to as many people as you can. And don't forget to vote.
YES WE CAN! OBAMA IN '08!
I swear to God if I see one more heffa with a painted on shirt, Ima personally fly to their city and WHOOP THEY ASS! Bitch, this shyt is not cute! And you on the left, you didn't have to paint "HO" on yourself; trust me, boo boo, I bet they already knew. And if they didn't know, it was more than apparent when yo ass sat down in da corner and let some dude paint a shirt on you! I'm too through. I suggest we all band together to form Da Ho Patrol. Basically, we patrol the world to let bitches like this know, Sit Yo Ass Down, Ho! Who's with me?
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
So, we're watching the previews, and Mr. D points out there are no action previews. It's mostly drama, the sappy stuff. In other words, he feels TP is setting women up to be sad. Shut up, Mr. D. You're spoiling it. But I love you anyway.
Now, I will not give away too much of the movie. But I have got to say it was FANTASTIC! Alfre Woodard and Kathy Bates do a wonderful job as two women from very different lifestyles that have managed to be the best of friends. It was completely believable and very moving. And even though I hate to admit it, TP, even with his mini fro and scruffy face, still manages to come off as effeminate. There, Mr. D, you happy? Tyler Perry is a tooty fruity.
Sanaa Lathan was AWESOME! I didn't really appreciate one of my favorite actresses play such a bitch, but she played the hell out of that role! From her very first scene, she was a bitch. How you gonna be talkin shyt about a woman payin for your entire damn wedding? And then at your reception, how you gonna be givin another man the googly eyes with your new husband standing next to you? And the poor dummy didn't even pick up on it. You dumb ass.
Sanaa Lathan as Andrea is a truly ruthless bitch. She is constantly putting her husband down and telling him he will never be William Cartwright, and the fool takes it. At one point she tells Ben (TP) the same thing, and he tells her, "Look here, I don't wanna be no damn William Cartwright!" And I'm like, 'It's about damn time somebody said it!'
Now, I in no way condone this, but bitch deserved it. So, Andrea and Chris are arguing in the family diner, in front of erbody and them, and Andrea is punking the hell out of him. Ben finally drops the bomb that errbody, and I do mean ERRBODY, but Chris knows Andrea is fuckin William Cartwright. So Chris is like, is this true? And she's like he's my man. And he says but we have a son. And SHE says, "My son is Cartwright." Chris turns his head away, then back hand slaps the bitch across a counter! I mean this bitch flew over the counter and onto the floor! She got hit harder than ol' girl in Family Reunion the movie, but trust me, even the white people in the theater was like "It's about damn time!" I mean, Andrea is really that much of a bitch.
I'm sorry, I really didn't want to give away too much, but damn! They built up to that perfectly, and you really don't expect Chris' soft ass to do that. However, it did bring up a topic of discussion for me and Mr. D. Andrea didn't respect her husband because she made more money than him. He had a respectable job, she just made more money. So the bitch started a 5 year affair with a man she felt was better and also used him to try and get to the top. And the stupid bitch thought he would leave his wife and child and marry her. Sistas, why do we constantly dog out perfectly good brothers and think the dude you are cheating with is going to wife you? He don't even respect you! Why do you think the only time you spend together is in the hotel room? Shyt like that turns good men into bitter men who no longer respect the rest of us because of your trifling ass.
Robin Givens is also in here and does a beautiful job as a sista who worked her way to the top instead of laying on her back like Andrea. She also put Andrea in her place, but of course the bitch is too full of herself to realize the truth Robin's character is spitting.
Anyway, I've given away too much already. I felt this movie broke away from Tyler's usual pattern, but of course Mr. D didn't. He did, however, admit he kinda liked it. Whatever. I give the movie an A+, and it's one I want to watch again. Oh, and yes, he did manage to fit a church scene in the chaos. The movie possibly could have done without, but it served a purpose. Go see the movie, heffas! You'll love it!
Oh, and since we didn't see it opening weekend, we didn't see the preview for Madea Goes To Jail, so for those of you who did, I DON'T LIKE YOU. Toodles!
Anyway, I guess I show offer my congrats, but I'm SERIOUSLY not feeling this dude. Couldn't she have picked a cute reject, like J Hud? But she's the one who has to look at this troll for the rest of her life, not me, so I say congrats. I just can't see him being a cover model, unless it's Troll Illustrated. Later, heffas!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
When that fool finally went to trial after years of getting it delayed, I wanted to move back to the Chi just so I could pull jury duty. And when they announced his acquittal on the radio, I damn near crashed my car. We all know R. Kelly is guilty. We saw the damn tape. We saw him answer when his name was called mid stroke. And the jury knew it, too. But because the damn girl was paid so well, they couldn't prove she was underage, and therefore could not convict him on child pornography charges. By the way, I heard he threw his acquittal celebration party at Chuck E. Cheese's on the South Side. I'm just sayin.
Anyway, on that day, I vowed to never buy another R. Kelly song, and change the channel every time one came on. The dj's of the world, however, made no such vow. So what, I can be my own damn army of 1.
Then Kells took his dumb ass on BET. Mistake #1. Most people would probably think Black Entertainment Television would be the perfect forum for his first interview since the trial. But we all know damn well what BET has become over the years. And for those of you who need a refresher, click here.
Then, when asked if he like teenage girls, instead of flat out saying no (which we all know is a lie), this golden shower lovin muthaf'er asks the interviewer to define teenager. Robert Kelly, what in the hell, man? Are you for real? Did the same person who wrote Sarah Palin's speech coach you here? That right there solidly reinforced my belief that he is a dirty pedophile.
And for the next couple of days, every radio station was blasting him because of that interview. But still, no one decided to stop playing him. And then we finally get DJ Flex standing up and refusing to endorse Kells anymore. This is the shyt I've been waiting for. R Kelly may be a musical genius, but he is a dirty, dirty man. I've got 14 year old cousins. 14 year olds shouldn't be having sex with each other, let alone some 40 year old man. And even though 19 is legal, I damn sure don't believe 19 is his starting age. Seriously, what does a 40 year old and a 19 year old talk about? I can barely talk to my sister that long, and I'm only 6 years older than her.
Anyway, R Kelly is nasty, and I hope parents will keep their kids away from him. I also hope radio stations will stop playing his shit. Like Flex said, the only reason he felt secure in doing this is because we keep supporting him and he got away with that bullshyt. SMDH
I'm His Only Woman- Jennifer Hudson featuring Fantasia
New Ruby: I don't even like this heffa's VOICE
Bring back the old Ruby!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Anyway, at the end, I'm sitting on the couch silently crying. He looks over at me, and he's like "Why are you crying?" He starts hugging me and keeps asking me that. So, I finally tell him cuz Dean died. Then he's all like you were just watching TV, it's just a TV show, wth? So I'm like, dude, I just spent 3 seasons watching Dean and Sam get closer as brothers, and now I just watched Sam watch his brother get killed, on the 17th AND it's the first day of my period! You better back up! I mean, come on now. Let's think about what we already know about me. I am, for lack of a better word, a crybaby. I cry at the sappy stuff. I cried when Mufasa died, and if I watched it again today, I'd probably STILL cry. I'm an over emotional Pisces. And when I realized my period was going to come on the 17th, I warned him I would be weepy.
I know men and women grieve in different ways. Yesterday was a very weepy day for me. I was crying as I posted that poem, which, by the way, is the poem I wrote for my mother's obituary. I cried when I watched the Mama video. And I cried when I forced myself to take my mother's picture off my computer's desktop background. It's only been 2 months, but damnit, I am doing my best to cope. So what if I cry every now and then? And I was silently crying; it's not like I threw myself on you and started bawling.
I'm not writing this just to vent. I wanna give people a little insight. Learning to deal with the death of a loved one is a difficult process. Everyone handles it differently. Mr. D and my mother weren't that close, but he was in the hospital room with me while I held her hand until she passed. It was hard for him to watch, but it was even harder to watch me. And I know he's having a hard time, and has no idea how to help me cope. So, I very rarely speak on it. But if you really wanna help someone who is grieving, listen. Just listen. Let them talk about whatever they wanna talk about. 20 times a day, I find myself remembering some small detail about my mother that makes me smile, and sharing it with someone really helps. It's not me trying to keep myself depressed; it's my way of keeping her memory alive. If that person needs to cry, offer them a tissue and your shoulder. Sometimes people, women especially, just need to cry.
Blogging helps me cope. I have been going back and forth; one minute I can accept her passing, the next I'm in denial. But with these posts I keep doing on my mother, I think I'm accepting it. It took me a month to tell people who didn't already know that she was gone. And even still, I found it hard to associate her with death, passing, etc. But it's getting a little easier with every word I write about her. And you know what? I haven't cried once while writing this post. I call that progress, don't you?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
They always say
No one will ever love you
like your mother
That must be because
there will never be another
The first beat we ever learned
was the rhythm of your heart.
The first sound we ever heard
was the twinkle of your laugh.
Your smile that lit the room,
your voice that calmed our fears.
You dried our tears
when we were sad.
You held us close
when we were scared,
cried tears of joy
when we came into our own.
That special way
you used to say "OKAY!"
You were our protector, teacher, mother
No one will replace you in our hearts
For as long as we have our memories
We're never far apart.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Now I know this video is kinda off topic, but thinkin bout I Love New York and contestants from Chicago reminded me of this and it STILL cracks me up!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
My first day of boot camp I met 10 people who were from New York, and 2 with family members who worked in the Towers. One poor girl received word her father hadn't made it. In the wake of September 11, when we all thought it was a terrorist attack, seeing the pain of those affected, being afraid for my family, I never once questioned my decision to complete boot camp. I wanted justice for those families, for each and every American devastated by this tragedy.
We have all been lied to over the past 7 years. And we were lied to once again March 19, 2003 when Bush used the Sept 11 attacks as a basis to go to war. So many lives were lost that day. Take a moment today to remember those we lost on that day.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
And while you're at it, click You Tricky Bastards to find out what your favorite restaurants are hiding from you.
It's hump day, heffas! And my job has been fuckin me all damn week! And I couldn't upload the video I wanted, so now I'm pissed. This is the only video that would work for me, so this is what you get. Later, heffas.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Tyler Perry's new movie The Family That Prey's opens officially in theaters Friday. I can't wait to see this. However, if you've been paying attention, you know Mr. D hates TP with a passion. Oh yeah. Before I forget, Mr. D also feels his views weren't accurately portrayed in that post, so since I luv my boo so much, Ima write another post entirely from his POV. But I digress. My wifey in training, Sanaaa Latham is in this movie, so I HAVEto see it. That being said, I need a date, people. Mr. D has absolutely refused to go. Any takers?
Monday, September 8, 2008
But I aint done yet. Little V gets a hamster. Yay for her, right? So one day me, Mr. D and Miss Detroit are chilling waiting for Mr. Detroit so we can play cards and get our drink on. He comes in the house talking bout they dun killed the damn hamster and are outside burying it. How the hell did they kill the hamster? Little M tossed it up and then moved out of the way, letting it hit the ground and snap its neck! And then they asked everyone who walked past (me, Mr. D and Mr. Detroit) to say a few words over the hamster. AND they chased Mr. D with the damn dead hamster! And got pissed when I said aint no way in hell Ima let ya'll play with my ferret, you freaking hamster killers! They had the nerve to call me mean and rude. Those little girls need a good ass whopping. And the foolishness doesn't end there. But I'll leave that for another post. To conclude, parents, please spank your kids BEFORE they turn into little monsters who chase people around the complex with dead hamsters! This has been a public service announcement by Miss P.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."
THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."
PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate."
THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.
PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."
THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.
Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.
He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.
MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.
THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.
MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. ... She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.
THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.
FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."
THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.
FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."
THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.
I probably shouldn't be so gleeful about this, but KK is going to jail! You know what? Fuck it. I am happy. That dirty dog doesn't deserve to be in charge of anybody's city, except maybe OZ. He gives black politicians a bad name. Anyway, KK pleaded guilty to 2 felony obstruction charges. He is going to serve 4 months in prison and get 5 years probation. He also has to pay $1 million in restitution.
He is gonna have to be in solitary for his own protection. I mean, I know Dirty K is a big dude, but do you know how many dudes in the pokey are ready to poke KK? If a gang of them ran up on him in the shower, they could probably take him. Then again, they might send him to a country club prison like they did with Martha Stewart. I suggest all the citizens of Detroit who still have love for their convict mayor send him some soap on a rope. Ha!
First of all, I am not feeling this whole future vibe they were trying to do. Did you see the computer they were inputting the girls info into? It looked like some prop from a 70's movie about the future. Hell, it could have been in Back to the Future. And speaking of inputting info, what the hell was up with the body scans? And if it was really scanning their bodies, how come Isis' extra equipment didn't show up?
Now the Jay's. What in the hell was up with the matching platinum do's? I can get used to Mr. Jay like that (maybe), but Miss J, no boo boo. Your ass is too dark to make it work. Please go back to the drawing board and try again.
And did you see the Asian girl, Sheena I think, do her turn on the catwalk and unzip her jacket? What the hell for? Don't you know the Jay's don't want nothing you got girl? Isis has a better chance of hooking up than you. But I still like Sheena. I hope she stays for a while, even though I probably won't be watching.
Back on the future trip. Everybody and they mama knew that wasn't no damn Tyra bot when that door opened. It was so obvious she was in there. I really didn't appreciate ol' girl (I forget her name, the black girl with the glasses) pretending she was shocked and RuPauled. Speaking of her, I was glad she didn't make the cut cuz she was hating hard on Isis. You don't know her, bitch! So why the hell you hating? I guess you hatin from home now, cuz she's in and you're not!
There are 3 Brittney's this time. Goddamn!
And is it just me or is Lauren kind of funny looking?
Anyway, that's just my take. If you want a full re-cap, I bet F.U. will have one by the end of the day. And if you want to see pics of all the girls who made the cut, click here.
Oh, and Isis did one hell of a tuck job! I think I recorded it, so Ima watch it and give my review of the second half tomorrow. Later, heffas!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Hey heffas! Do you know what day it is? That's right, it's hump day! And here is you hump day video. I know, it's not as much hump talk in this video, but hey, I tried. I hope you appreciate it heffas.
I know I am not the only one who wanted to wipe Taye Diggs down during the pool scene in How Stella Got Her Groove Back. That water glistening on his gorgeous chocolate skin, and then he smiled, omg, I melted into my damn seat. You can definitely get the business.
This is one bad bitch. Her eyes, her voice, her body. Did you know she's over 40 with 3 kids? She puts these young bucks to shame. She is a REAL woman, and a certified member of my wifey club.
I vow to never again exclude the dark and lovelies from my list. Forgive me?
Tuesday, September 2, 2008