So, I was over at one of my favorite blogs,The F$%k It List, and she asked a question: Is it wrong to not like an 8 and 2 year old? That reminded me of my ordeal with my neighbors. Around June, Mr. D and I bought a ferret. And since it's all nice and warm in Southern Maryland, we also bought a BBQ grill. So, we're walking the ferret, and two little neighbor girls ask if they can play with her. Mr. D being the sweetie pie he is, says sure. Little V is about 10 and Little M is about 8. So, these girls start knocking on the door errdae. I let it slide, let Mr. D deal with it. Then comes the day when we decide to grill. Miss Detroit (the next door neighbor), is sitting with us and I'm making daiquiris. Tell me why these little girls attack Mr. D while he's checking the grill and ask for hot dogs??? Both me and Miss Detroit say hell naw. But Mr. D gives them both hot dogs. Do you know these little heffas had the nerve to come back and ask for some kool-aid? By this point, Miss Detroit is going off. Did I forget to mention she doesn't like kids, despite having an 8 year old? Yeah, the only kid she likes is her own. Anyway, Mr. D gives them both my damn Hawaiian Punch. I was too through. And then these little heffas left half a hot dog in a napkin next to the door, and left my cup on a bench. When we told them to throw the hot dog away, they said they were gonna eat it. Ewwwwww! From that point on, I officially did not like that 8 and 10 year old.
But I aint done yet. Little V gets a hamster. Yay for her, right? So one day me, Mr. D and Miss Detroit are chilling waiting for Mr. Detroit so we can play cards and get our drink on. He comes in the house talking bout they dun killed the damn hamster and are outside burying it. How the hell did they kill the hamster? Little M tossed it up and then moved out of the way, letting it hit the ground and snap its neck! And then they asked everyone who walked past (me, Mr. D and Mr. Detroit) to say a few words over the hamster. AND they chased Mr. D with the damn dead hamster! And got pissed when I said aint no way in hell Ima let ya'll play with my ferret, you freaking hamster killers! They had the nerve to call me mean and rude. Those little girls need a good ass whopping. And the foolishness doesn't end there. But I'll leave that for another post. To conclude, parents, please spank your kids BEFORE they turn into little monsters who chase people around the complex with dead hamsters! This has been a public service announcement by Miss P.