Oldie But Goodie

This still cracks me up!

Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

BONUS QUESTION: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student wrote the following:
First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once the soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume in Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then the number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of the theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God".THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

*snatched from Baller Alert*

What Love Means To A 4-8 year old

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.. See what you think.


'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'

Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4


'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5


'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age 7


'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'

Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)


'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7


'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'

Clare - age 6


'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5


'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'

Mary Ann - age 4


'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)

Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'

Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age 8


And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

'Nothing, ! I just helped him cry'


*Cindy, Clare, and the winner had me tearing up. Which one is your favorite?*


Snatched from Baller Alert

Save Da Kids

See, this is why I always post about saving the kids. Have ya'll heard about the 8-year-old being held because police think he came home from school and shot his father and another man in cold blood? And in the video of the interrogation that was released, he talks about coming home and finding the bodies calm as hell. Now, I know everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but the simple fact that an 8 year old kid is being held as the primary suspect really hurts me in my heart. We are hearing too many stories now-a-days about these horrible acts, and the kids just keep getting younger and younger. Our society is dying, people, and it's because the are getting our babies.

This story really gets to me because today my family suffered yet another loss. My nephew was born prematurely two months ago, and today his little heart gave out. There is no way I can make the trip to Chicago. My older brother is devastated, just like the rest of the family. In the two months he was here fighting for his life, we loved the hell out of him. Children are a gift from God, and are supposed to be nurtured and loved. But time and time again, we hear stories about little kids getting pregnant, murdering each other. When is the madness going to stop? Do you know how many families lose their babies everyday, and would die for the chance to be good to them, while you turn yours into little monsters?

I had no intent to blog today, but I have to speak. People, please hug your kids, tell them you love them daily, and be the best damn parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, you can be. Please, do it for the babies.

Source

This Is Just Wrong

This shyt is wrong. I really hate it when kids are betrayed by people they should be able to trust, like caregivers. I bet that bus driver would go ballistic if someone did this to her kids. And the fact that it was covered up for so long... If I was his mother, I would kick someone's ass and then sue.

What In The Hell?

I'm starting to believe I have no fashion sense. I mean, that HAS to be the case because I can not get down with these shoes. No and no.

Oh, and I snatched these from Baller Alert. I was so blown away by the sheer fuckery of it all, I don't remember any of the details. First of all, this shyt looks like it hurts like hell, and second, why in the hell would I pay goo gobs of money to walk around with my feet touching the dirty ass ground?! The first celeb I see rocking these, I swear to g_d, I will fly to Hollywood and whoop their natural white ass! (you know it's gonna be a white girl, lol)

Actually, you know what? I think I can see Zoe Kravitz attempt to rock these. Zoe, I dare you. I dare you! I will be behind you kicking you in the ass so fast, you won't know what the fuck hit you!!!

Conspiracy Theory 101

Dear g_d in heaven, did gas actually fall below $2?! Gas here is $1.97, and if you drive about 10 minutes, you can get gas for $1.79! I don't even remember the last time gas was below $2. However, I find this extremely suspicious. I first noticed gas prices dropping right after the election. Then, not to long after that, the CIA said they knew the general location of Osama bin Laden, but hadn't exactly pin-pointed him. This was, of course, after President(-elect) Obama said his administration would definitely find bin Laden and bring him to justice.

You're probably asking what these two things have to do with each other. Three words: George Dubbya Bush. Dubbya does not want anyone to figure out he knew exactly where bin Laden is this whole time. If Obama catches him, especially within a couple months of being sworn in, Bush's legacy of being the worst president in our nation's history will be cemented.

As for gas... I have long said the price of gas shot up so Bush could fatten his pockets for when he got out of office. Ya'll know his family is deep in the oil business. Not only that, but again, Bush does not want to go down as the worst prez in history, so mysteriously the price of gas is decreasing under his watch, and his people are hoping his approval rating will go up.

I'm not falling for the okey doke, Dubbya. Your ass has less than 2 months left in office, there's not a damn thing you can do to make me like you. I have never liked your ass. Get the hell out of the white house already so the Obamas can move in! Boo to you, Dubbya!

He or She?

I really don't have time to post as much as I want to *sigh*, so I have decided to reserve my posting to things that really interest me. That being said, Thomas Beatie, the man who had the blog world and eventually everyone else all a buzz, is pregnant again.

Now, I personally think it's a beautiful thing. His wife had some kind of complications, I can't recall exactly, that prevented her from carrying, so Thomas, who still had his female reproductive organs, carried their adorable little girl to term, and his wife breast fed her.

Now, if you talk to a woman who had been through child birth before, she would probably tell you she would LOVE for her man to be the one to get pregnant next time around and them be the supportive one. And he still did his "man of the house" chores while he was pregnant! His wife was probably in bliss.

Now, the purpose of this blog. Back when this first came out, Mr. D and I had vivid convos about whether or not Thomas is a woman. He was born a woman, a very pretty one at that. In fact, I think she was a beauty queen at some point.

But somewhere along the line, he made the necessary moves to legally become a man, while still retaining his female reproductive organs. I personally believe a person should be called whoever and whatever they wanna be called. I mean, we all know RuPaul is a man, but we aren't all down his throat, are we? Thomas has a wife who loves him as a man, so that is what we should call him. What do ya'll think?


Source

Happy Veteran's Day!

Most people see Veteran's Day simply as a day off from work. Being a veteran myself, it has so much more meaning to me.





I know from first hand experience the sacrifices the men and women in the service have to make. I know exactly how deeply it affects the family. I had two godchildren born while I was active duty, and could only be there for my best friend over the phone while she was in labor. I came home to visit one time, and one of my other friends showed me a beautiful sleeping 5 month old boy. When I asked her who's baby it was, she said it was hers! That was a shock.





When I left for the Navy, my little brother was 2-years-old, and he was my freakin shadow. They would show him my picture every day, and ask him who I was. Still, when I finally got to go home to visit, he didn't know me, and it broke my heart. My sister had to give up her big sister for 4 years, and along with that, she lost some heart to hearts that could have saved her a lot of heartache.





My story is just one of millions. I have plenty of friends from high school who went, and still are in some cases, active duty. I still work with the military and have a deep bond with lots of people. I am blessed to be able to say none of my friends has been killed in the line of duty. Each and every one of them are able to go home to their families whole. But not everyone is as lucky as me and my friends. So many families get service member back less than they were when they left. Too many get theirs back in body bags.





So today, take a moment to think of all the men and women and their families who willingly sacrifice so much so you can continue to enjoy the basic freedoms you take for granted. God bless our veterans. Thank you for your sacrifices. I salute you and your family.

Is This Bitch For Real?

So, we made history last week and elected Barack Obama president. I thought there would be some backlash, but I hadn't seen much. Then I hit up Glennisha Morgan and she pointed out some idiot named Hal Turner. Now, I go back and forth on putting ignorance on blast, because if we all go over there and increase traffic to his site, it might just inspire him to write more foolishness. However, as I was reading the comments, I noticed not all of them are racist bullshit. So, please, go check this out. And hit up his inbox and let him know what a fool he is. People like him make me sick.

Yes we can. Yes we did. Yes we will.

18-year-old abandoned

Ok, so I heard about this a little while ago and forgot to address it. But now, I gotta speak on it. A bunch of states have developed a safe haven law which will allow parents to abandon a child at a hospital or police station without fear of prosecution.

So, the most recent "child" to be abandoned is 18 years old. What in the hell? Her adoptive mother said she can't control the girl, and the girl is refusing to take her meds (I think the article said she was bi-polar or something).

Something about this just aint sitting right with me. One woman abandoned 5 kids at a hospital. That was an entire family! What in the hell? I mean, yes, it's good people now have the option to drop their kids off somewhere safe, but I think people are abusing this. What do ya'll think?

Source

Obama In Danger Already

Well, sorta.

The Chicago po-po aint playin.

"Barack Obama's motorcade had an unexpected occurrence while ferrying the president-elect to a security briefing at Chicago FBI headquarters Thursday morning.As the motorcade pulled onto Van Buren, towards the Loop, a couple in a tan sedan tried to drive around the heavily-armed line of vehicles, wrote pool reporter P.J. Hufstutter of the Los Angeles Times:

The SUV cut the car off immediately, and the security team aimed their weapons at the car. The driver and passenger in the sedan stopped, and looked stunned -- until the male driver appeared to understand what was happening (your pool reporter could see him mouth "Obama"). The motorcade continued on. The sedan remained stopped, near the side of the road. [...] Some of the drivers here in Chicago do not seem to understand that a) the Chicago police car at the end of the president-elect's motorcade is serious about having traffic pull over when the officers flash their lights and hit their sirens, and b) it's not a great idea to jump ahead of traffic by trying to cut around the black SUV filled with five heavily-armed secret service CAT members." Huffingtonpost.com

Why those fools thought they could cut off a cop car with flashing lights in CHICAGO, is totally beyond me. The cops should have given them a warning shot, but knowing my damn city, the fools in the car would've have just shot back. SMDH

Hail To The Mutha Freakin Chief!!!

Good morning America! I know I promised an update yesterday, but hot damn, does it matter anymore? My faith has been restored in the American people. Yesterday we proved we are not stupid, we are not gonna fall for the okey doke just because you say we should! Goddamnit, we want change, and we got it!

Barack Obama is the first African American President. Hot damn! Did you see the results? DC was not playin! 93% for Obama?! Has that even happened before? Not only did he pull that off, he got California, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Florida, Virginia, all the major states McCain thought he had on lock! We told ya'll damn people we wanted change, and gotdamnit, we got it!

We now have a black president, a Democratic majority Senate, and a female Democrat Speaker of the House. If that's not change, and proof we wanted it, I don't know what the hell that is!

Somebody play Hail To The Chief right the hell now!

I Voted This Morning. Did You?

So, I was active duty during the last election and did an absentee ballot. Today was the first time I've ever actually been to a booth. It was exciting as hell, especially since this is such a historic election. There were so many elderly in line, patiently waiting their turn, but you could feel the excitement wafting off their skin. I'm so wound up, I can't really put it into words right now. I'll update ya'll later. Right now, all I can say is

GO VOTE!!!

Inspiring Story

We must learn from dear Mrs Fitzgerald. Rest in peace....

"North Charleston, S.C. - For a 93-year old North Charleston woman, casting her vote was a matter of life and death.Very little was missing in Dora Fitzgerald's 93 years of life, she had a marriage of 65 years and family that spreads generations, but politics was never a passion until the final year of her life.“She was very moved for Barack Obama ’s passion for fixing things, and his articulate way of delivering his message and she just decided she was going to vote for him,” said her daughter, M. Fitzgerald.But as her health declined M Fitzgerald took care of her mother, watching her slowly slip away.“It was beautiful, it was sad, tragic, you prepare for it, you know it's coming, and still when it happens, you’re completely crushed,” said M. Fitzgerald.But Mrs. Fitzgerald didn’t leave quietly, there was unfinished business."She said I don’t know if I’m going to live that long, but I plan on sticking around to vote for him,” said M. Fitzgerald.Fearful that November was too long to wait, her daughter sent for an absentee ballot. It arrived last week.“She made her mark, and we put it in the envelope, my brother and I walked to the mailbox, it was 11 o’clock Wednesday morning and I said ‘Mom its in the mail, you’ve done your thing, Barack’s going to win,’ and she kind of smiled and it was kind of a deep sigh, a sigh of relief, and in less than an hour later, she died,” said M. Fitzgerald.She traveled the world, raised a family, lived a full life, and on her death bed exercised her right to vote.“The only thing left on her list was to make sure she got her voice heard, and she did,” said M. Fitzgerald.Mrs. Fitzgerald was born in 1915 and according to her family, she voted in 19 presidential elections.She is survived by her nine children; William of Garmisch, Germany; Michael of New Sweden, ME; Joseph of Seattle, WA; Kathleen of Murrieta, CA; Shelagh of Caribou, ME; Timothy of Portland, ME; Terence (Terry) of Foxborough, MA; Patrick of Charleston, SC; and Mary T. of North Charleston, SC. She’s also survived by 18 grandchildren and more than a dozen great-grand kids." wcivnews.com

Mrs Fitzgerald...you are an inspiration to us all.

R.I.P dear lady.

I spotted this over at You Know You Dead Azz Wrong. Katt Williams is the shyt. Go vote tomorrow!

Beat His Ass!

I've seen this before, but it still makes me wanna beat his ass!