Life is but a dream...

Monday, January 12, 2009

Please Excuse My Absence

It seems like forever since the last time I blogged. So much has happened since then and now. So, let me explain.

I was taking a break from blogging. Reason being is I looked over everything I wrote in the past and decided it was time for a change. When I was a little girl, I desperately wanted to be a writer. And even though I know my blog doesn't reach very many people, I decided to give it an overhaul and turn it into a substantial read, not just a random commentary.

However, December 23, tragedy once again struck my family. This time, it was senseless and completely unexpected. Little Miss P, my niece Promiss, who looked exactly like me when I was a baby, died. She would have been 2 January 1. My sister called me at work from Chicago. At first, she was crying hysterically and I had no idea what was going on. Needless to say, when she finally collected herself, the words she said will haunt me forever. I broke down so bad, I had to be taken home and sedated.

How does a happy, healthy, almost 2-year-old just up and die? She didn't. I'll spare you the details (you can google it if you want), but she was molested and died from blunt force trauma. And the guy who did it originally tried to say she died from choking on Cheetos. AND this 27-year-old sorry excuse for a man was on probation after serving time due to biting and punching a 3-year-old boy 5 years prior. How did my beloved niece end up in the presence of such a monster? He was at his cousin's house, who was babysitting my niece, and she had no knowledge of his priors.

My beautiful baby niece, who was the light of my family, was buried December 30, 2 days before her birthday, because my sister couldn't bear to bury her baby the day before her birthday. I had been crocheting her a blanket for her birthday. I was going to finish it so she could be buried with it, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Sometime soon, I hope I can finish it and make a shadow box for her.

In the midst of all this heart crushing tragedy, Mr. D and I got married at the courthouse New Year's Eve. We had already decided to do it earlier that month, and after all the tragedy we experienced in 2008, we decided we could not wait any longer to officially be married, and therefore family. He has been my rock, and I love him to death, and I am now Mrs. D! But, for now, I'm still Miss P. :-)

Unfortunately, we didn't get a real honeymoon. January 5, I had to have ovarian surgery to remove a cyst from my right ovary. When my doctor got in there, my right ovary had swollen to twice the normal size because of the cyst! I also had a small cyst on my left ovary, which my doctor also removed.

I spent the last week at home being spoiled senseless by my new husband. I didn't have to lift a finger if I didn't want to, and was rarely allowed to lift them when I did want to. We had a little scare Wednesday, though. I had 2 bumps under the tape on one of my sutures, and they looked kind of puss filled to me. Fearing an infection, we went to the doctor. Turned out they were just blisters from the tape. Solution: place a heating pad on them until they pop. They swole up so big, eww. And now I have two black scabs on my tummy. :'(

I have been through so much mental, emotional, and physical trauma in under the span of one month. Oh, I almost forgot to mention. Sometime in the next couple of months, I have to go see a specialist to see if I'm developing glaucoma. Ain't life grand?

Anyway, that's the reason I took a break. I am back at work, a little refreshed, but determined to go on. And you can best believe I have more to disclose in the days to come. So stay with me, people! Ya'll are family now. :-)

Love ya lots,

Miss P

Excuse the mess. We had just moved and were still unpacking.


F.U. said...

Miss P, I thought about you today. I had been checking your blog but saw that you hadn't been blogging but figured it was because of the holidays and such (I took many a break myself in the last month). So I went to check on you today and was happy to see that you're back. Then I read this post and I'm so sad, but I'm happy for you, and just in awe of your determination and strength.

I'm so sorry that your niece is gone and that she suffered at the hands of a sick fucked up bastard. I really hope that he's in jail and will never be released ever again.

Congrats on your marriage! The man you describe sounds like a man that any woman would be lucky to have. So happy that you have him by your side.

It sucks about the crap going on with your health, but it all sounds like stuff you get can get thru.

So you keep fightin like the fighter you are. I'm proud of you Miss P.

Much Luv,


Miss P said...

im not sure i ever saw this comment, but thank you so much. with my sister being pregnant with another girl, i've been thinking about promiss a lot, and it hurts, but i take comfort in knowing she'll never be in pain ever again.