Get The Hell Outta Here!

I'm not sure how many of ya'll out there have heard about the hickness that is Southern Maryland. Let's just say this place is hick country.

Anyway, look at this bullshit :

At approximately 1:30 a.m. on Sunday, March 8, units from Bay District Fire Department and Lexington Park Rescue Squad responded to a call for a woman bleeding in Lexington Park.

A man told authorities that he had placed a sex toy on a saber saw blade and that the blade had sawed through the plastic and severely wounded the woman. Trooper 7 transported the woman to PG Hospital. The case remains under investigation at this time. No word on the condition of the woman at this time.

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Get the fuck outta here! What the hell was going through her mind?! There is no way in HELL I would have allowed that shyt! They do make toys you can plug in the wall that WON'T CUT YOU, YOU STUPID BITCH! I swear, sometimes people deserve the shyt that happens to them. Just in case ya'll aren't tool savvy (I damn sure am not), I googled the saw and found this picture:

Now that I think about it, I hope they charge his dumb ass. Her, too. I am too through with this damn city. I'm moving back home damnit! Fucking retards.

One of my favorite comedians, Bill Engvall has a bit where he talks about stupid people and one where he talks about warning labels on products. I'm pretty sure the makers of power saws never thought they would see the day where they would have to add: WARNING. DO NOT USE ON/IN GENITALS to their damn product!

Bill also says stupid people should wear a sign that says I'm Stupid so the rest of the world knows they're stupid and therefore avoid stupid shyt like this!

Here's your sign, dumbass

New Award!

I don't know if this is more of a what in the hell? moment or a dumbass award moment, so I will combine the two. The first ever What In The Hell, You Dumbass award goes to Rubel Sheikh who was eaten by a crocodile he was trying to get a blessing from. Now, I'm not trying to walk all over other people's customs, but don't people in Bangladesh know wild crocodiles eat people??? I mean, really, if your ass is performing a ritual that involves bathing in a pond full of crocodiles, isn't it really the croc who's getting a blessing of a bunch of dumbasses for lunch?


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And the Dumbass Award Goes To...

Ok, what in the fuck? In Wisconsin, a 37-year-old woman celebrated her birthday by taking her 17-year-old son to rob two gas stations. AND her 13-month-old daughter and two boys, 10 and 14, rode along. I told ya'll we going to hell in a handbasket. Who in da fuck drinks a few beers, blows out their candles, then says "Erbody get in da car. We going for a ride. Ok, now you get yo ass in there and get all da dough. And don't forget my muthafuckin chips!" Yeah, bytch, you's a dumbass.


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And the Dumbass Award Goes To...

Hahahahahahaha. Ok, I can't find a real news source for this story, but did ya'll hear about the Chinese man who told his wife the address of his mistress in his sleep? Hahahahahahaha. Now, I've heard of people telling their secrets in their sleep (hell, that's how my mother found out my crushes in grammar school, lol), but this man gave her a COMPLETE ADDRESS. That's what his dumb ass gets. And then she found him there a couple of days later. Yeah, you're a dumbass.

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